Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in RyRy's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
5:39 pm	What's going on right now... Well, long time since my last post. Pretty much a year? A lot has changed. Grown up a lot and discovered so many new things. Been with my boyfriend for four months now, discovered the wonders of Fallout 3... tried my hand at working in shops and running gay bars... lots and lots of stuff. All of this in mind, I've realised I want to try something new... I've been in the same place for almost 20 of my young little years now... and for the first time I took a holiday to somewhere else (without my family) and really got into it. I went to Brighton little over 2 months ago and fell in love with it instantly! The nightlife with all that variety, the atmosphere where everyone is so diverse and friendly... perfect for me... That really pushed me into wanting to tour more of the UK and finally decide where I see myself in about ten years. With that said, I've been trying frantically to get back into education (good way to keep yourself occupied during a recession I hear?) which would be a good way to live in some of these places aswell! In a couple of days I will be visiting London (for the first time in my life I might add...) with my boyfriend to meet his family, do a bit of sightseeing and sample the nightlife. Obviously I know I'll probably only get a glimpse of what London is really like but I have to admit I'm actually really nervous about it. My boyfriend seems to take an odd joy in reading to me articles about random people who are attacked in London and the crimes commited constantly, kind of unsettling. Could be worse though, I could be on my way to Cornwall I suppose ;-) haha And I'm still not happy about this whole 'Yellow light of death' thing... after many a days playing flat out Fall Out 3... I was happy enough wandering around destroying evil little monsters and having a grand ol time, then all of a sudden it started glitching... suddenly giant things would fall from the ceiling and enemies appear from thin air in front of me... then the playstation started crashing and finally that glorious yellow light. Shit. £128 to have it replaced!! Blatant rip off =[ Oh well, back to Megaton methinks... Current Mood: geeky (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 18th, 2008
2:33 pm	It's been an interesting 23 weeks since I last posted to my blog I tell thee!! There's been 3 new boyfriends in that period... Only found 1 I have really grown attatched to and am still with at the moment, Ben. Good times! Feels like I finally shrugged off an unforgiving past to make way for a future where I'll actually grow instead of being stuck in a rut... In fact, the past few days I have been deep in thought about the year so far... I mean so much has happened... I think I really jumped into this year all guns blazing, having sex in the backseat of a car with my fuckbuddy of 2 years then minutes later getting so drunk I pass out for the first time all in time to miss 2008 rolling in by minutes... Now, 10 months later, nearing the end of the year I realise that through the handful of relationships I have had and numerous friendships forged and broken in 2008, I notice that only a few have carried on and slowly being wittled down to the people I see on a (atleast) weekly basis... People have shown their true colours and I have mine. When everyone shows who they really are and what they want it's a lot easier to realise who you want to spend your time with! Thanks to this new theory I realised it was actually time to let go of people who used to be some of my closest friends... all in all, I think I done right! I'm changing my blog soon... So until then.. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 8th, 2008
11:54 am	Lifes Changes Remember when you were back in school and had no idea what you wanted to do whilst everyone else was obsessing over taking courses to become a chef or a nurse... I do Remember when it came time to take your A Level's and decide which qualifications would best suit you later? Whilst you choose two that you enjoy doing and a third that might come in handy when everyone else is picking qualifications that can get them up their chosen career ladder faster.... I do Remember when everyone decided that there was one person in their year that would make a difference, make a stand, do something with themselves... I do School was two years ago now, I finished my GCSE's with decentish results. I stayed on for further education, chose two subjects that I enjoyed doing and one that might benefit me... I got ejected from two and left straight after... I went straight into a job in customer service that would never neccesarilly lead anywhere... That was last year. I've realised that unless I want to spend the rest of my life doing something I'm not overly bothered about (and yet still put in every bit of effort) I need to make a change... going back into education was the first thought, followed by changing my career path. Why not do both at the same time? I've now left Taxifast and work as a self-employed door-to-door sales man selling Sky TV, Broadband and Phone packages. It might not be that much of a difference but atleast now I can feel like I have a little bit of control over my life. I miss being able to sit and watch the sun rise AND set and not HAVE to WORRY about all of the useless things in life. I hate having to worry about my money, my time, my job. Remember all those people that you were so jealous of when you thought you had reached a wall and their futures were so bright and long... I do Remember when nobody thought you would ammount to nothing... I do, and now I have. Current Mood: happy Current Music: P!nk (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 10th, 2008
10:05 pm	I Forgot There are various reasons I have named this blog 'I forgot', one of which is I forgot that if you modify something in Internet Explorer it tends to reload, deleting a large blog that you were in the middle of writing!! Well anyways I forgot all the things I held so dear before... so I decided to change a few things in my life, waking up at 8am instead of 11.30. And trying to mend broken bridges with those I've argued with. And of course BluePoison! How many people remember that? It either went down in 2005 or 2006, can't really remember which it was, but I do know it was March of that year. Was a fun little thing to be doing, and that's something that I've decided I will blog about!! Looking back over my previous blogs I notice that I would rant on about my new website and how wonderful it was, it was the place to be as far as I was concerned. I spent every waking second thinking of what I could put on there, how I could change it and make it better in the hope that if I got a visitor that day it would make a good impression. As it was a personal website it obviously didn't recieve all of the hits on the web but it still recieved a bit of traffic even if it was low comparing to standards of other sites, still a couple of hits a day averaging about 50. It's interesting to think back now that I segregated myself away from so many people to try and make something I thought would complete my life and get me some respect in an online community of web developers and one day lead to a well paid enjoyable career. It didn't. When the domain expired I forgot it, until this week. I've had the week off of work and now that I'm 18, I have my own money, my own plastic and a bigger, more accurate outlook on life. I miss having a project that I enjoyed that I didn't have to hide away from everyone, this was just such a project. I could upload whatever I wanted and wouldn't have to worry. The only downside is when I had a forum that was slowly gathering dust after such a fruitful start. I must admit that BluePoison had it's moments at the start with many events such as; The time I almost had a co-admin in the site and on the forums who proved to be a great help to myself and to the site. We thought on the same wavelengh and I didn't realise how knowledgeable he was with the internet. At one point he helped gather a lot of traffic to the sight through a slightly devious/nethertheless inspired technique of domain jacking someone that slandered our forum. The mini war against a personal site by someone in Manchester. And the naked pictures scandal. Either way there are a lot of memories assosciated with the old site. Unfortunately there aren't any traces of it online anymore... so after much trawling through one of my oldest hard drives I eventually managed to come across the design for the site around the time of the forum launch. The new website will obviously start off with a similar design but will be different in its own ways. Unfortunately I'm still searching for the styles I used towards the end, but they were all saved on this hard drive which was accidently wiped last year during an upgrade to vista HURRAH! Anyways more news on that soon... The message is simple, you can look back on your life and think to yourself "I wish I'd changed that" or "I wish I'd done that differently"... but it's better to be able to think "I'm glad I changed that", "I'm glad I did that differently" and "I'm so happy I carried on with that passion". RyRy Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Monday, February 11th, 2008
9:44 am	Life updates The feeling you get in your stomach when you realise you have lost control, that fluttering kind of euphoria. I have that now. Looking out of my window I see blue skies and the orange glow of the sun surrounding me. I woke up this morning at 7am (early for me nowadays) and decided to watch Juno. After seeing her and the guy hugging each other at the end I realised how much I missed doing things like that. Obviously not the whole getting pregnant part but being intimate with someone I care about... someone who makes me feel special. Feels like a long time now and I miss having someone else to genuinely care about. True, I am surrounded by guys at the moment but judging by the small things that stand out to me it feels like one is still strung up on his ex... one is sex obsessed... and the last is attatched and seems to be trying to break free. Things are a bit mixed up at the moment and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. It would be so much easier if everyone could just step forward and tell the truth... say how they really feel and who they really are... A guy that I've been seeing for a month now started out impressing me, and every week he has been slated by someone new. He seems to have a really bad history which I have ignored upto this point... the thing that I could NOT ignore is how much he talks about his ex. Makes me feel like I need to compete. On the other hand I have an ex, even though I doubt things would happen here again it has been been brought up. And last but not least... a guy that's been on my mind for a while now, currently attatched and prohibited from all fun by a ball and chain. It seems that any time we are seen together someone says to me "Oh you two make such a cute couple" which is when I started thinking about posibilities there,,, I am free from any ties to my past nowadays after a long time of focusing myself and what really matters to me and alot of people have moved on from how things used to be. Everyone can adapt and change. People do it everyday in different ways whether changing the route you take to work, the style of your hair or the brand of cigarettes you smoke. The smallest things can make the biggest differences. Look close enough at yourself and you realise what needs to change. I honestly feel I've been able to do that now and it is time to change. Someone who has looked down his nose at me for so long, been trying to 'compete', 'outdo' or 'put you down' for so long now needs to realise that to. There is too much hatred in the world and people need to realise what truly makes them happy. But does that mean it's right to take what will make you happy at any costs? Time will tell... Forever and for always RyRy Current Music: Like a Virgin (Remix) (Comment on this)
Friday, January 25th, 2008
11:58 pm	Musical Fun =P Last night me and Chris took on Zero's for a fun night out... expecting to go into a club packed with young, hot gay guys dancing around shirtless to bassy club music we instead found ourselves amongst the x factor... it was karaoke night! As I've never been to a karaoke night in Zero's I decided to give it a try, after all how hard could it be? So I took on Rihanna's Umbrella... bearing in mind I didn't know the second verse and I was a bit tipsy but not totally drunk and sober enough to get a bit nervous/embarassed I don't think I did too bad! Take a look =) Lovelove RyRy x Current Mood: excited Current Music: Umbrella by Ryan (Comment on this)
Monday, December 10th, 2007
4:45 pm	Interesting two faced observations After me and Leigh split up last week it seems that life is passing me by really fast, and a certain someone is making moves on him already after advising me to split from Leigh and advising Leigh to just see what I want... Now he has already kissed Leigh and told him that he really likes him, and has repeatedly met up with him and told him that he wants to change and settle down and told Leigh that he is looking for certain things... however as the things he mentioned are just what I said me and Leigh's relationship was like... it's kind of false. I am fed up with people using and abusing my trust... I need to sort my head out and figure out who is really my friend and who just wants to stop me getting ahead in my own life! I'm free, young and single once more, it's time to live... and to move on with dignity and happiness. Forever and for always RyRy Current Mood: cynical Current Music: Since U Been Gone (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 14th, 2007
12:16 am	The Weird and the New Alot has happened since I last wrote anything on here... basically me and Sam have stopped talking as much, I found out that he had been seeing this guy for a while... brings alot of confidence to the fact that I got told that he had been seeing this guy whilst still having sex with me but hey, life goes on and that werent the end of his lies... Me and Darren started talking again about two months ago now, and it's amazing how close we got in such a small space of time! It's been good, we have spent alot of time out and about drinking and clubbing so that has been interesting... plus the fact that my face is now known about most of the town and I've met alot of new people since I started going out so I suppose that is definately a good thing! I also met a guy through Sam, Leigh... We met up a couple of weeks ago and started getting along really well and now we have been officially together for almost 2 weeks! I have spent more time at his this week than I have at mine, I walked in the other day and thought to myself, crap! I haven't made my bed in 2 days now! haha Well I also got asked if I wanted to go back to my old job so I am now working again which has also proved to be interesting... with the arguments, bitching and all the other crap that comes with it... I'm glad I did go back though. Also yesterday I saw my Mum for the first time in a while which was fun, and she gave me a christmas present early... a contract sim card. Interesting gift so I was quite happy with that! Still not sure what I am gonna do about Christmas though, as far off as it is I haven't even started planning... I haven't been putting any money aside so I guess I'll start that this week... And oh yeah I had my first awake surgery today... I had my gums cut to get to the teeth underneath so that was fun... lots of blood... but I talked them into letting me listen to the radio whilst it was happening... bit of a pain that the song that was on was one that I cant resist dancing to... so there was more blood than neccessary =( Well alot is going on and I've been kept really busy! Forever and for always RyRy x Current Mood: curious Current Music: Chasing Cars by Booty Callers (Comment on this)
Friday, October 5th, 2007
11:36 am	They didn't know what hit em... Well, I've just woken up and both me and Darren kind of have a hangover, in fact... I still feel drunk =) First time I've ever been to a club, and it all started with an afternoon of getting bored in town because we couldn't find any good looking guys who liked me (Darren decided to find me a boyfriend) and so we decided to spend an afternoon down the pub, then eventually realising what time it was we grabbed a guy and took him clubbing with us... Downside was that he was kind of in his 50's and wasn't into dancing so I danced with him a bit at first but by the end of the night neither me nor Darren had any idea where he was. I'm only getting flashbacks but I do remember having a 3-way dance off and won =) *chufty badge* And then I was dancing with this fit lad who we thought was straight and he was staying with me for most of the night but he told Darren he wanted to take me home that night and I've just found out this morning so I'm kind of shocked... kind of wish I'd gone for it too =P I really do need to get over Sam, and it's not that I can't have fun (take last night...) it's just that if I actually got a guys number or kissed a guy I would feel guilty... I need to get myself out of that mindstate... Ah well, again this saturday! Can't wait, should be good... first off we are rocking the karaoke at our local and then we are going clubbing again =P We must have looked right tarts dirty dancing with each other to Nelly Furtado! Forever and for always RyRy Current Music: Suburban Nights (Comment on this)
Monday, September 24th, 2007
5:02 pm	Recovering and wondering The weekend went ok, the party was great, didn't take too long to recover although I did get wasted. I went to Ridgeway today and spoke to a few people, caught up on old times... I've also noticed that whenever I see Eloise nowadays she always manages to stress me out... so when she could make five minutes to say hi to Chris and go and talk to him I wasn't really amused. Ah well, life goes on. The past will not be dug up yet. Speaking of the past, none other than weasel has made up yet another fake profile to try and talk to people that don't like him/aren't interested to wind them up. He is now using the name MikeIke and started talking to me the other day, unfortunately he is losing his flair of creativity and all of his profiles are beginning to look the same, so kind of obvious at first glance. Also, I noticed that things are changing... indeed it is turning to Winter again... damn it! =( Ah well, more soon... no, really =) Forever and for always Ry Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
11:19 am	20 Bottles of beer... and a birthday! Well it's Hollys birthday today... party tonight at hers, everyone is going for a big piss up. But after yesterday I am suddenly really self conscious about the way I look. I am going to be surrounded by skinny emos and I'm going to feel bad guaranteed lol Either way I have 20 bottles of beer... so I guess I'll be merry... I might try and get Absinthe so then I'll be laughy too =) Dan will be going which will be interesting, first time I will have seen him since the arguments. I was talking to him the other night and he was reminiscing about the time he kissed me when we got drunk and then told me it makes him smile everytime he thinks about it and I thought to myself... is it really that good an idea to get drunk around him again? Not to sure about who is going to be there... but it should be fun, plus it's only ten minutes walk down the road so if anything happens i.e cant get any sleep then I'll walk home. I still feel bad, because I only had £10 to last me for a while and Holly was like make sure you bring alchohol, so I went and got some beer and a card which actually came to £10. Sam has been reassuring me that she wont mind because she knows that I don't have a job or any other income at the moment, but still. I'll get her something nice when I have a job again though because else I will feel guilty =( All in all it should be an interesting night, I know a few people on the guest list but I'm guessing it will be quiet and melow so I'll probably just sit in the corner drinking and talking to someone or I'll find someone to dirty dance with. hehe Well more on this tomorrow when I will probably have a hangover! Forever and for always RyRy Current Mood: calm Current Music: Boston - Augustana (Comment on this)
Monday, September 17th, 2007
1:25 pm	Sexy =P Gave up on giving up, its gone out of fashion for me... it's depressing, so maybe another week. After trying for two days to give up the stress came out and when provoked I responded, not good. Like an explosion that rockets up from deep inside, not fun.  So with all of that spinning around my head I thought about other things and once again guys come up... one in particular that is on my mind, who really shouldn't be... I barely know him. Either way, dominating my thoughts is a good thing for him I suppose... he had an effect on me =) On the other hand theres another who kind of freaked me out whilst blatantly flirting with me, so hes on my mind be that good or bad lol What is the point in falling for guys? All they do is mess you about and cause problems... hmmm food for thought there... Well, either way, new picture on here =) Forever and for always RyRy Current Mood: cold Current Music: Lady Marmalade (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 15th, 2007
4:02 pm	Giving up and letting go I decided yesterday that the first thing to go from my life to make a change would be smoking, to finally give it up. Alot harder said than done, after my 'last fag' at 11pm last night I found myself with cravings since I woke up, so at this moment I am smoking a roley. It's quite good either way because normally by now I would have smoked between 10 and 15. From the moment I woke up this morning it seems my body knew I was going to give up so I had cravings straight away, I decided to stay in bed until 11ish. Eventually I got up and have had cravings ever since so now I have given in to my single fag of the day, only one. That is hopefully all I will need. Straight away I saw the effects of dropping it just like that, going cold turkey is not all it is cracked up to be and I found myself getting stressed and easily irritable. As I write this and inhale the fumes it tastes more and more of failure, shame really. But this is not failure, this is a minor blip. To go from 15-25 a day to 0 overnight is asking a bit much of a habit I have had for well over a year now. The beauty as smoke swirls around me must be imagined as something dark and evil. I need to invision it as burning away the beauty that will surround me. This is going to be difficult and I don't think I really realised that until now. Either way a little rant about it always helps, I just need something to play with to take my mind off of it. Where are men when you need them? On the subject of men, yesterday whilst hanging out with Holly I met a guy, didn't really get a good chance to get to know him but still, hes hot. Hopefully I'll get to see him again soon. I need to put my mind to better uses, not only still hunting for a job, money, sanctuary from what it is becoming. I can feel myself turning into a lazy bum that does nothing all the time, even though I am always doing something I am beginning to feel everything blending which is not what I want from life. Something new will come along soon though, hopefully... Forever and for always RyRy Current Mood: crazy Current Music: Fergalicious - Fergie (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 13th, 2007
3:21 pm	General Diary Thingy Right where to start... I'm so happy, I have just found a pack of fags in my drawers =P Things are ever changing at the moment. It seems that people have came and gone this year, some have made a massive impact on me and others were fleeing attractions. It appears that people aren't as great as they used to be, I am seriously starting to feel older be that good or bad and forced to mature a bit more. After all if we all ran around acting stupid all the time then the world wouldn't be right. It seems that 2007 has been the year of arguments, After everything I went through with Rich at the start of the year and then getting my first job and last of all Dan Finney. It seems that nobody can just try and co-exist nowadays. The latest is death threats from an overzealous child who was annoyed at competition for a job. I have learnt something this year though. My trust is worthless nowadays, a few people have thrown it back in my face this year... including one of my best friends who turned on me this Summer. Back to now though, I have decided that I still need a job and am desperate for money for Christmas... at the moment funds are a tad low. I have also decided to give up smoking and take a step back to re-evaluate everything that is going on around me at the moment. Men are not that important and neither are those that use me. I fell for the same trick twice this year putting my closest friend (at the time) before everything and everyone else. I need to find a new direction and although it won't be easy I doubt it will take long either. I have a new project called Walking in Life which consists of me and Chris doing weird and wonderful things. So far we have a site for the videos, and a couple of fansites on bebo. At the moment both are in need of attention. Either way I am unsure how long it will go on for, at first it seemed like it would go for a long time but lately I have realised some differences, time will tell. The latest thing that is plagueing my mind is how everyone is so demanding and determined to get their own way on everything at the moment, which is fair enough but sometimes it is good to take other peoples views into account. I have been reminded repeatedly that I am dominating so that is perhaps why it is annoying me. Also annoying me is a couple of people I haven't heard off in ages who I got really close to at some point this year, such as welshie (AKA Rich) who I had an obsession with a month or two back, and Jeff who I haven't spoken to in months. I dare say that Rich said something there though. Nethertheless, time is ticking away and I have things to do. Forever and for always RyRy Current Mood: content Current Music: Marilyn Manson (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
10:57 pm	Diary Entry I am so annoyed with this thing right now, I just wrote a really long entry, accidently clicked on the help link for the Tags and lost it all!! Right I can't be bothered to type it all out again at the moment. But... Walking in Life is now up and running and we desperately need comments, subscriptions and features =P I will be updating this shortly with everything that I just wrote... Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Evanescence (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
12:18 am	A new start Seems things have finally cleared up and I've realised who my true friends are. Random bitchy comments being sent in flash messages to my phone proved that =) and those who decide to ditch me and pass on stuff I say in confidence... Still I can't say it's all bad, a lot of people have stuck by me no matter what including new and old. Either way shifting on... Waking up to a room filled with sunlight after being up early in the morning texting Rich =P, I decided I can't be arsed to sit around. So me and kezza decided to go to Plymbridge again!!! We invited Cheryl and eventually we made our way down... then realised it was packed =( (still texting Rich). So we decided to go further and further up through areas we had never explored, how exciting! Well, after various little infestations of chavs we eventually got to the main bridge and walked up to the mini beach. After looking around we realised we were on the wrong side of the river so I had to change into my shorts (whilst still texting Rich!!) and waded my way through the deepest part of the river trying to pursuade the girls to follow. Eventually they made their way across (Cheryl started walking across and her phone dropped out of her back pocket making a plop in the river, so she started screaming at Kerry to stop throwing rocks at her... whilst Kerry can't stop laughing whilst watching Cheryl's phone sink!) and I realised there was a shallower way that came up to UNDER my knees about a meter further down. So we managed to get across all dripping wet and sat on the grass messing about. First of all we were trying to fix Cheryl's phone after the whole dropping incident. Kerry was sat on my stomach and eventually both were climbing on me and we started wrestling (don't ask)... anyways I found out I'm strong enough to keep Kerry on my shoulders from being laid flat to standing up, without her moving!! So eventually we started walking back towards McDonalds and the McFlurry machine was finally working again!! =D as chuffed as we could be we got a lift back to Kerry's and then Sam told me that he was back in the country so he came and saw us =) (STILL texting Rich! By this time Kerry is getting pissed off because nobody is texting her and my phone keeps going off =P) So that's all really =) Good day had by all... Ryan x Current Mood: happy Current Music: I Don't Have To Try - Avril Lavigne (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 29th, 2007
3:27 pm	A secret cannot be bound forever Everyday, things happen. Even when we don't particularly want them to. Well, I split up with Sam for the last time and kind of big headedly expected the world to fall at my feet... it didn't. So upon further reflection, I decided to settle old rivalries and hope it would make me feel a bit more content, it didn't. How do you cure something that plagues your mind and makes you feel empty... I don't know. Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 10th, 2007
11:31 am	Interesting updates Where do I start... So much has changed since my last entry.... basically BluePoison came and went, it got shut down earlier this year after a two year stretch that saw a couple of bitchy fights between different sites for popularity, including the 'death' of the biggest rival. It was an interesting time... anyways I now live with my dad, after repeated arguments with my mum. I left school and now have a part time job and am living life like I never have before. Alot less naive, alot more grown up. I have discovered myself alot more since the last time I posted a blog here. So, basically the latest is my odd decisions... whether to give into a temptation which has so much promise or stick with the rock, turning more plain everyday.... when something loses appeal its hard to stick with it. How do you explain this though? Caring for something to the point where you would put it above everything else if asked of you. But to find that things are all getting to be the same.... feeling like you've lived everyday a long time before it happens. It takes away the thrill, you can't live for today if you lived it all yesterday afterall... It makes you wonder about mistakes you could have made on the way... thankfully my only mistakes are that I haven't been harsh enough on those that hurt me, I would be alot more comfortable in myself if I had been... Well, this will be an interesting summer, already me and eloise have christened HMS Leeky... however I'm worried about our friendship... and have been since she met Rich.... I feel like a low priority in her life, which is a shame because we used to do everything together and work so well together.... but since Rich came along, it appears he can better me on everything. Hopefully materialism isn't the be all and end all in everyones hearts. This is getting old now... I'm gonna go write some new poetry. New entrys coming soon. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: 09 - Eat Me, Drink Me - Mutilation is the Most Sincere Form of Flattery (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 16th, 2007
1:33 am	Times change... and so do people Hows that for a good ol subject thingy? Well it's basically what today has been about really... when I think back about how much has changed... i mean the last entry in here was when I lived with my mum... I live with my dad now... do what I want... im a 17 year old with no boundaries... so learning to control myself instead of pushing at the barriers and trying to rebel i can laugh at my past and realise how lucky i am. Alot has changed... in fact not just me, but everything around me... and times changed with me so more reflection tomorrow :) Im shattered Night ma luvs! x Current Mood: content Current Music: Fuel - Avril Lavigne (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
4:34 pm	BluePoisoN grows again... Right then ma dears! I just had to write my last entry in here (possibly for good) because I am going to start using my Journal on my own site (http://www.bluepoison.co.uk) so please take a look there to find some info about me, my Journal with ALL of my entrys ever written ANYWHERE and for my forum and other things which I do every now and then. Love and peace Its been fun. Current Mood: creative Current Music: Farther Away (Not For Your Ears Version) by Evanescence (Comment on this)